My life has forever changed. Tom, my wonderful husband and best friend, died on January 16, 2026. It’s really difficult to write those words. Honestly, I can barely put my thoughts together to write something. I have not written a blog for almost a year, and I was not writing much once Tom got worse a few years ago. I’m a little rusty.
To those of you who prayed for Tom over these last five years, thank you. I am so grateful for the many prayers and concern over Tom’s health. We felt every prayer. From the bottom of my heart, thank you!
My world has been turned upside down. I’m navigating new waters with the Lord. I take it one day at a time. This is the greatest loss of my life. I have to rely on God for everything, and He is faithful to me. Thank you again for your support.
Here is what I shared at Tom’s memorial. It’s all a blur, but this just scratches the surface of my heart:
For the past thirty years I have been very blessed to be married to Tom. God brought us together and used my husband to change my life. I am the person I am today because of Tom. He brought out the best in me and I’d like to think I brought out the best in him. That’s how marriage is supposed to work. We took our marriage seriously and stuck together no matter what, by God’s grace. We genuinely loved each other and enjoyed each other’s company and have so many happy memories together. He was a wonderful husband.
He was the best dad to our boys. He made everything fun for them. A simple trip to the store was turned into an adventure. Tom also disciplined them, and never let them show me disrespect. He was in awe of them and loved them deeply, sacrificially. He was so good about helping them through their problems. Tom was a great example of how to be a Godly man and lead our family.
Tom was incredibly handy and if he didn’t know how to do something he’d usually get a book and figure it out. He’d often say, “It’s not rocket science, it’s not brain surgery,”. I saw my husband do so many crazy things like set a trap for a raccoon that was in our attic and then he blared music all day to scare the thing out and it worked. He took down several large trees over the different homes we owned, pulling down massive branches. When our sewer line busted in our backyard, Tom was in the backyard digging to find the line and repair it himself. Thank God I convinced him to have a plumber do the repair for that. He’d always come up with creative ways to fix things. He loved the challenge.
Tom had a great sense of humor. Very sarcastic and dry. He loved those cheesy dad jokes. We laughed a lot which can really help get you through hard times. We were even laughing at our last ER trip since we were stuck in a hallway on a gurney at 2:00 in the morning. Even then he put me first and let me lay on the gurney because I was falling asleep. Truly humble until the end.
Tom was a fighter. He never stopped fighting for his life because he loved us so much. He didn’t complain, he just took the pain, or diagnosis, or whatever terrible thing was thrown at him. He just kept going. He’s the most determined person I’ve ever known. Tom started dialysis just over a year ago. A typical dialysis day for him went like this: he’d leave our house around noon and start dialysis by one which takes about 4 ½ hours total. (If you don’t know anything about dialysis, you’re hooked up to a machine that slowly removes all of your blood, cleans it, and puts it back in your body. It’s very hard on your body and causes extreme fatigue.) After dialysis he’d go straight to work and then get home around 7:00 AM. Tom would push through and go and go and go.
Tom’s life ended on a high note. Tom trusted God. He was hopeful. He was back in school pursuing his Masters in American Military History, which he was enjoying. He believed the Lord would heal him, and He did, just not the way we wanted. In God’s great mercy He took Tom home. I wanted another 30 years together, but God set Tom free. That gives me peace knowing Tom is no longer suffering and fighting for his life.
We were one flesh just as God designed marriage. If Tom was hurting I was hurting, and the same went for me. The day Tom left this earth half of me was torn away, the best half. But death is not the end.
The infamous 19th century evangelist D.L. Moody is quoted as saying, “Some day you will read in the papers that D. L. Moody of East Northfield, is dead. Don’t you believe a word of it! At that moment I shall be more alive than I am now”.
Tom is alive with Jesus. His time on this earth is over but he is more alive than ever. That is the hope that every Christian has.
We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, Hebrews 6:19
God promises us eternal life for those who have placed their faith in Jesus Christ.
And this is the promise that He Himself made to us: eternal life. 1 John 2:25
Tom was a very special person that I got the privilege to share 30 years of my life with. I’ll never be the same and I’ll love him forever and I’ll miss him until we meet again. Tom is in the best place he could be, Heaven, with Jesus for all of eternity.
Well done Tom, good and faithful servant.
See you soon. I love you.
And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying: “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man, and He will dwell with them. They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them as their God.
‘He will wipe away every tear from their eyes,’ and there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the former things have passed away.”
And the One seated on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” Then He said, “Write this down, for these words are faithful and true.”
Revelation 21:3-5
There is no end to the love and compassion of Jesus for the hurting. He still acts the same today as He did two-thousand years ago. Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. No one has the amount of compassion that Jesus does, and as His kids we get the benefit of that compassion. It’s unbelievable to experience the love of Jesus through His compassion. What an amazing Savior!
