Trials

Light At the End of the Tunnel

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You are either in the middle of a difficult season, just got out of a difficult season, or you are about to enter a difficult season.

I’ve heard a lot of pastors say some version of this over the years, and it’s true. There are so many metaphors for hard times. Maybe you’ve been in a dessert, valley, storm, darkness, tunnel, or any other word to describe a painful place. We’ve all been there, or are in the hard place right now.

I am still in a difficult season but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. That light gives me hope as we journey out with Jesus leading the way. At times it has been dark and I could not see anything in front of me. It was all unknown, but Jesus has always known the outcome. He said “Trust me”.

Yesterday the hospital bed was picked up from our house by the medical supply company. Tom (my husband) has been using the stairs again, and he’s getting better going up and down. It’s still very painful but at least now he’s not crawling up the stairs. Blessings. I count every single blessing each day, no matter how small.

As I look back on these months of sickness, hospitalizations, catheters, surgeries, drain tubes, piles of prescriptions, endless doctors visits, labs, and pain, a lot of pain, I see God’s grace. His mighty hand has guided us through these mirky waters. And He is still guiding us as we don’t have every single thing completely resolved. As hard as that is, that’s alright.

I don’t like not knowing what’s going to happen. I am a planner to the core, and that doesn’t work very well as a Christ follower. I have learned time and time again over the many years of being a Christian to “Let go, Let God”. Simple yet true, and very difficult for me to do at times.

God is always faithful. He has carried, provided, encouraged, and healed us. God is a perfect loving Father as He has cared for our every need. No, He did not just make it all go away. God made a way through it, which has tested and stretched our faith.

In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 1 Peter 1:6-7, NIV

If it’s dark for you right now, hold on to Jesus. He is the way out. There is much to learn in the hard times. Your faith will grow as you follow Jesus. He can see what you cannot, and some of it you just don’t need to see. There is light at the end of your tunnel, and it’s beautiful.

Love you all,

Meghan

Father God,

You are awesome, holy God. I lift up those who are in the difficult places right now. They can’t see and they are afraid. Encourage them. Remind them that they are never alone. Carry them and help them see You through it all. Provide for their every need, and make a way out as they follow You. Give them peace.

In Jesus name,

Amen

Family, Trials

There’s Always Hope

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The first morning glory of the season greeted me bright and early today in the garden. It’s fun to grow a new variety like these gorgeous pinkish purple ones. Tom gave me these seeds among others at Christmas. I love watching seeds sprout, grow, and eventually flower. It’s very rewarding.

A new flower gives me hope. My garden is no longer a brown desolate wasteland. Now it’s full of new life. Vegetables, herbs, flowers, and fruit are thriving. I didn’t have much hope of planting anything just a few months ago. I didn’t think I would have a garden this year with Tom’s hospitalization and health issues.

God brings hope and blessings in the midst of trials.

Since you all have graciously followed along on our journey of my car accident, and Tom’s hospitalization, and a lot of unknowns, I wanted to give you a little update. Tom had his hernia surgeries yesterday. I sat in the surgery prep area with Tom as nurses came and went asking questions, taking his vitals, and getting him ready.

The anesthesiologist came in, looked over Tom’s blood draw results, and was very concerned with his kidney function. He let us know that Tom is high risk, and rattled off a bunch of potential really horrific things that can happen going under anesthetic and having surgery. My heart sank. Fear whispered in my ear, “something bad is going to happen to Tom“.

Tom was not worried and reassured me that he will be alright. I told fear to take a hike, like forever. The Holy Spirit said to me, “I’ve got Tom. Do not fear“. It was another faith test. I could not see the end result and I was told awful scary things. But God said, “Keep trusting Me“.

The surgeon stepped in the room and went over the anesthesiologist’s serious concerns and asked Tom what he wanted to do. Tom told him that he felt good, and healthy, and that he was ready. The surgery was a success and went better than the surgeon expected. That’s a big praise.

Tom came home last night. There are all sorts of tubes and pumps in his three large incisions. He’s in a lot of pain, no surprise there. He’s been very nauseous and thrown up several times. Sorry if that’s too much info. Gotta keep it real. You have to go through the hard ugly stuff to get to the good.

Today is a new day with new hope just waiting. New opportunities for God’s grace and mercy are here. I’m praying Tom will have less pain today on his path to healing. I’m still praying for his kidneys to completely recover.

The Lord can breathe new life into anything. What appears to be a lost cause can be fertile ground for new life, for hope.

We stand on The Rock. We trust God to completely heal Tom. Through the ups and downs God is faithful. Thank you so much for your prayers!

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13, NIV

Love you all,

Meghan

Prayer, Trials

God Is Answering Our Prayers

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I have another praise report. I am so happy to share with you that my husband is doing much better. His catheter was removed earlier this week, after 10 weeks! He was in constant pain. Sometimes it was unbearable. No pain meds, and the few prescriptions the doctors gave him to alleviate pain did not work. So, my amazing husband endured. He is my hero.

Tom’s kidneys are slowly beginning to recover. His numbers keep improving. We are praising and thanking God. It is an answer to our prayers, and the prayers of so many friends, family, and strangers from all over the world. Countless people have been praying for Tom. We cannot thank you enough.

We are still believing for complete healing. We trust God to get Tom to the other side fully healed. We have not arrived yet, as he has another surgery soon. God has brought us this far, and He will finish what He started.

Our faith has been tried and tested. We have had some discouraging difficult days through all of this. God continues to care, comfort, carry, and provide for us. He is faithful even when we cannot see. That’s part of the faith test. Sometimes its dark, but you have to trust in what you cannot see. We trust God.

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; and trust also in me.” John 14:1, NIV

Thank you so much for your many prayers! May God bless you abundantly for being a blessing to us.

If you need prayer please leave your request in the comments or send an email to meghanewhiteauthor@gmail.com

Love you all,

Meghan

Heavenly Father,

Thank you for hearing and answering our prayers. Your love and faithfulness is overwhelming. You are our perfect Father. Praise your name! Bless each person who has prayed for us. Strengthen their faith, provide for their every need, and bring blessings to their homes and lives.

In Jesus name,

Amen

Trials

Keep Believing

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This beautiful wisteria climbs along my backyard fence. It was in full bloom a week ago. I love the contrast of these stunning purple flowers against my brown backyard. The historic winter storm in Texas killed off most of our plants. I was so happy to see this gorgeous plant thriving.

It’s a picture of my life right now. We are smack dab in the middle of some hard things. Still waiting for answers on my husband’s health. Still waiting for complete healing. Still waiting for the catheter to be removed so my husband is no longer in constant pain. Yet we are being blessed by God every day during this entire ordeal.

When I look around, everything is brown. Will there be new life again Lord? Will you really heal Tom? Is this our future?

Wednesday of this week was awful. Tom had an appointment with the kidney doctor. It did not go as well as I was hoping and praying for. We have nicknamed the nephrologist Dr. Doom and Gloom. I met him once in the hospital and he’s not my favorite doctor. He’s a brilliant doctor and speaks honestly and that’s important, but he is not an optimistic person, and that’s bad.

Tom’s kidney function is still not good. The improvement has slowed down, almost stopped. That was not news I was ready for. It broke my heart. All I could see was brown. No signs of life. My heart was ripped in two. My hope was stomped on.

But God reminded me that Tom’s story is not done.

I smelled something so lovely. Wisteria gives off the most delightful fragrance. Because we had so many flowers the smell was powerful. I could smell the wisteria flowers over smoke during a fire we had in our fire bowl one night. You just could not stop the fragrance or cover it up.

In the middle of the trial, God’s beauty and blessings abound.

The love that has been poured out on us is overwhelming. Our church small group is incredible. They have given us countless meals, prayers, words of encouragement, and the most amazing Easter basket with a generous cash gift. Tom’s co-workers took up a large cash donation and they all signed a beautiful card with well wishes. Friends and family are praying for us and checking on us. My in-laws have been so supportive and generous. Our church has blessed us with so many prayers and a gift card from one of our pastors and his wife.

I could go on, and on with the many blessings we have received. That’s just how good God is.

I got a text on Wednesday night from my friend, and prayer partner, Roger. He is 78 years old and leads the prayer ministry at my church. We have prayed together for many things, and many people as we serve on the prayer team side by side. I respect him like a father and in some ways he is like a spiritual father to me. He reminded me to persevere. God bless Roger for that.

God bless the many friends and family who have sent an encouraging text at just the right time. I love all of you!

Yes, there are still a lot of unknowns. Still lots of waiting. But God is not done, and new growth is coming. So I will look past the brown and lifeless looking things to the beautiful. That’s where my Father resides.

I still believe in miracles. I will continue to trust God for complete healing of Tom. I will persevere by the power of the Holy Spirit in me. I will follow Jesus out of this. He is a way maker where there seems to be no way.

I am a very visual person and many times God speaks to me with pictures. When Tom was in the hospital I kept seeing Jesus walking on a tight rope over a huge jungle ravine. I could only see His back because He leads. I am to follow Him out and keep my eyes fixed on Him. Jesus is the way out.

I don’t always understand how God works but I trust Him. God is completely trustworthy.

Thank you for your prayers and love. It means so much to me!

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1, KJV

Love you all,

Meghan

Please send me your prayer requests anytime meghanewhiteauthor@gmail.com

Family, Trials

I’m Believing for a Miracle

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Photo by Josh Sorenson on Pexels.com

It has been a very long and difficult week.

It all started last Tuesday, March 9th. My husband has needed hernia surgeries for some time now. The surgeries have already been rescheduled once, and Tom was finally getting prepped and cleared by his doctor to have the procedures. He left our house Tuesday morning to get an ultrasound. I went about my morning and headed to the grocery store.

After completing my errands, I was sitting at the traffic light to leave the shopping center. My light turned green and I proceeded through the intersection like I’ve done hundreds of times. In the corner of my left eye I could see something coming at me, and I quickly realized it was a vehicle, coming fast.

The vehicle came barreling through the red light and hit the front end of my car, slamming my head into the drivers side window. I barely got my car to the side of the road and started realizing what had happened. I called 911. Within minutes it was a blur of cops, and tow truck drivers. As this was all happening I received a text from Tom letting me know he was going to the hospital to receive blood transfusions because his hemoglobin was really low.

Tom was admitted Tuesday and has not left the hospital. I had to go the doctor on Wednesday to get checked after the car accident. Tom and I have the same doctor so I was able to get more details from him. Before my examine, the doctor updated me on Tom. The first thing out of his mouth was, “acute renal failure”. My heart sank, and my eyes got big. “Is Tom in the ICU?” I asked.

“No,” the doctor told me. He reassured me that Tom was receiving excellent care. He then proceeded to say a lot of things as he concluded and sent me off to get x-rays. I was in shock and was trying to process what exactly was happening to my husband. Up to that point Tom and I had not had much communication because of my accident.

I finally got to see Tom Wednesday evening. Thank God the hospital recently allowed one visitor per day. He was in pretty good spirits but writhing in pain. They had given him a catheter to drain the fluid on his kidneys. Catheters are incredibly painful. I have never had one, but my mom had to many times over the years.

It was too much to bear watching Tom in so much pain. They had been giving him morphine but it was pretty useless. I was asking the nurses for any help to relieve his suffering and they were doing the best they could do.

When I left the hospital that night I collapsed in the car and cried the ugly cry. I hadn’t had a chance to feel much of anything for two days. I had to go through the motions to deal with my totaled car, and the other drivers insurance, and getting a loaner car, and doctors, labs, and finally my husband’s very serious health crisis.

Tom has received 5 blood transfusions. The doctors do not know why he is losing so much blood. His kidneys have slowly improved each day but they are still really bad. There are still many questions as to what is happening in Tom’s body.

I was able to meet with the nephrologist over the weekend. He painted a very grim picture of the seriousness of Tom’s kidney failure, mentioning possible dialysis, and even worst case, kidney transplant. I let the doctor know I’m praying for full kidney function and healing. After my not enjoyable visit with the kidney doctor, we met the hematologist.

The blood doctor seems determined to get to the bottom of Tom’s anemia. The hematologist mentioned cancer and possibly doing a bone marrow draw. The hematologist wants to rule everything out to get to the cause of low hemoglobin.

I know this is a lot of information. There is a lot going on with Tom. More tests are being done today.

My husband is tough. His attitude is good. Tom is hopeful for a full recovery. He is tired, worn out from dealing with constant pain for days, and would love to not be in the hospital.

I am grateful to so many wonderful people throughout this entire crazy experience.

Thank God for good Samaratins. A man pulled over immediately after my car accident and checked on the other driver and myself. He did not have to stop. Everyone else drove right past us, but he chose to stop and offer help. God bless him, wherever he is.

Thank God for first responders. The 911 operator was amazing. She was kind, and patient, and walked me through everything. God bless her. The two cops on the scene were kind, helpful, and reassuring. God bless them. The tow truck driver took me home to drop off my groceries. God bless him.

Thank God for excellent doctors and nurses and all hospital caregivers. Tom has had great care with brilliant doctors determined to get him better. God bless them all.

Thank God for blood donors. They save lives, including my husband’s. God bless them.

Thank God for friends and family. We have had so much love and care poured out on us. We have no family living near us, but our church small group has blessed us greatly. They have helped us with dinners and are proving two meals per week since my two boys are still at home. God bless all our wonderful friends and family, and church family.

We trust God and know that we are in His mighty hands. This is not an easy place to be right now and is very difficult. We are in a faith walk, and are trusting Jesus to lead us out of this.

“Everything is possible for him who believes.” Mark 9:23, NIV

I am asking for your prayers. Please pray for Tom to be completely healed.

Love you all,

Meghan