Trials

Keep Believing

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This beautiful wisteria climbs along my backyard fence. It was in full bloom a week ago. I love the contrast of these stunning purple flowers against my brown backyard. The historic winter storm in Texas killed off most of our plants. I was so happy to see this gorgeous plant thriving.

It’s a picture of my life right now. We are smack dab in the middle of some hard things. Still waiting for answers on my husband’s health. Still waiting for complete healing. Still waiting for the catheter to be removed so my husband is no longer in constant pain. Yet we are being blessed by God every day during this entire ordeal.

When I look around, everything is brown. Will there be new life again Lord? Will you really heal Tom? Is this our future?

Wednesday of this week was awful. Tom had an appointment with the kidney doctor. It did not go as well as I was hoping and praying for. We have nicknamed the nephrologist Dr. Doom and Gloom. I met him once in the hospital and he’s not my favorite doctor. He’s a brilliant doctor and speaks honestly and that’s important, but he is not an optimistic person, and that’s bad.

Tom’s kidney function is still not good. The improvement has slowed down, almost stopped. That was not news I was ready for. It broke my heart. All I could see was brown. No signs of life. My heart was ripped in two. My hope was stomped on.

But God reminded me that Tom’s story is not done.

I smelled something so lovely. Wisteria gives off the most delightful fragrance. Because we had so many flowers the smell was powerful. I could smell the wisteria flowers over smoke during a fire we had in our fire bowl one night. You just could not stop the fragrance or cover it up.

In the middle of the trial, God’s beauty and blessings abound.

The love that has been poured out on us is overwhelming. Our church small group is incredible. They have given us countless meals, prayers, words of encouragement, and the most amazing Easter basket with a generous cash gift. Tom’s co-workers took up a large cash donation and they all signed a beautiful card with well wishes. Friends and family are praying for us and checking on us. My in-laws have been so supportive and generous. Our church has blessed us with so many prayers and a gift card from one of our pastors and his wife.

I could go on, and on with the many blessings we have received. That’s just how good God is.

I got a text on Wednesday night from my friend, and prayer partner, Roger. He is 78 years old and leads the prayer ministry at my church. We have prayed together for many things, and many people as we serve on the prayer team side by side. I respect him like a father and in some ways he is like a spiritual father to me. He reminded me to persevere. God bless Roger for that.

God bless the many friends and family who have sent an encouraging text at just the right time. I love all of you!

Yes, there are still a lot of unknowns. Still lots of waiting. But God is not done, and new growth is coming. So I will look past the brown and lifeless looking things to the beautiful. That’s where my Father resides.

I still believe in miracles. I will continue to trust God for complete healing of Tom. I will persevere by the power of the Holy Spirit in me. I will follow Jesus out of this. He is a way maker where there seems to be no way.

I am a very visual person and many times God speaks to me with pictures. When Tom was in the hospital I kept seeing Jesus walking on a tight rope over a huge jungle ravine. I could only see His back because He leads. I am to follow Him out and keep my eyes fixed on Him. Jesus is the way out.

I don’t always understand how God works but I trust Him. God is completely trustworthy.

Thank you for your prayers and love. It means so much to me!

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1, KJV

Love you all,

Meghan

Please send me your prayer requests anytime meghanewhiteauthor@gmail.com

Family, Trials

I’m Believing for a Miracle

landscape photography of clouds
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It has been a very long and difficult week.

It all started last Tuesday, March 9th. My husband has needed hernia surgeries for some time now. The surgeries have already been rescheduled once, and Tom was finally getting prepped and cleared by his doctor to have the procedures. He left our house Tuesday morning to get an ultrasound. I went about my morning and headed to the grocery store.

After completing my errands, I was sitting at the traffic light to leave the shopping center. My light turned green and I proceeded through the intersection like I’ve done hundreds of times. In the corner of my left eye I could see something coming at me, and I quickly realized it was a vehicle, coming fast.

The vehicle came barreling through the red light and hit the front end of my car, slamming my head into the drivers side window. I barely got my car to the side of the road and started realizing what had happened. I called 911. Within minutes it was a blur of cops, and tow truck drivers. As this was all happening I received a text from Tom letting me know he was going to the hospital to receive blood transfusions because his hemoglobin was really low.

Tom was admitted Tuesday and has not left the hospital. I had to go the doctor on Wednesday to get checked after the car accident. Tom and I have the same doctor so I was able to get more details from him. Before my examine, the doctor updated me on Tom. The first thing out of his mouth was, “acute renal failure”. My heart sank, and my eyes got big. “Is Tom in the ICU?” I asked.

“No,” the doctor told me. He reassured me that Tom was receiving excellent care. He then proceeded to say a lot of things as he concluded and sent me off to get x-rays. I was in shock and was trying to process what exactly was happening to my husband. Up to that point Tom and I had not had much communication because of my accident.

I finally got to see Tom Wednesday evening. Thank God the hospital recently allowed one visitor per day. He was in pretty good spirits but writhing in pain. They had given him a catheter to drain the fluid on his kidneys. Catheters are incredibly painful. I have never had one, but my mom had to many times over the years.

It was too much to bear watching Tom in so much pain. They had been giving him morphine but it was pretty useless. I was asking the nurses for any help to relieve his suffering and they were doing the best they could do.

When I left the hospital that night I collapsed in the car and cried the ugly cry. I hadn’t had a chance to feel much of anything for two days. I had to go through the motions to deal with my totaled car, and the other drivers insurance, and getting a loaner car, and doctors, labs, and finally my husband’s very serious health crisis.

Tom has received 5 blood transfusions. The doctors do not know why he is losing so much blood. His kidneys have slowly improved each day but they are still really bad. There are still many questions as to what is happening in Tom’s body.

I was able to meet with the nephrologist over the weekend. He painted a very grim picture of the seriousness of Tom’s kidney failure, mentioning possible dialysis, and even worst case, kidney transplant. I let the doctor know I’m praying for full kidney function and healing. After my not enjoyable visit with the kidney doctor, we met the hematologist.

The blood doctor seems determined to get to the bottom of Tom’s anemia. The hematologist mentioned cancer and possibly doing a bone marrow draw. The hematologist wants to rule everything out to get to the cause of low hemoglobin.

I know this is a lot of information. There is a lot going on with Tom. More tests are being done today.

My husband is tough. His attitude is good. Tom is hopeful for a full recovery. He is tired, worn out from dealing with constant pain for days, and would love to not be in the hospital.

I am grateful to so many wonderful people throughout this entire crazy experience.

Thank God for good Samaratins. A man pulled over immediately after my car accident and checked on the other driver and myself. He did not have to stop. Everyone else drove right past us, but he chose to stop and offer help. God bless him, wherever he is.

Thank God for first responders. The 911 operator was amazing. She was kind, and patient, and walked me through everything. God bless her. The two cops on the scene were kind, helpful, and reassuring. God bless them. The tow truck driver took me home to drop off my groceries. God bless him.

Thank God for excellent doctors and nurses and all hospital caregivers. Tom has had great care with brilliant doctors determined to get him better. God bless them all.

Thank God for blood donors. They save lives, including my husband’s. God bless them.

Thank God for friends and family. We have had so much love and care poured out on us. We have no family living near us, but our church small group has blessed us greatly. They have helped us with dinners and are proving two meals per week since my two boys are still at home. God bless all our wonderful friends and family, and church family.

We trust God and know that we are in His mighty hands. This is not an easy place to be right now and is very difficult. We are in a faith walk, and are trusting Jesus to lead us out of this.

“Everything is possible for him who believes.” Mark 9:23, NIV

I am asking for your prayers. Please pray for Tom to be completely healed.

Love you all,

Meghan

Jesus, Trials

Rest for the Weary

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Have you ever been so tired that even a good night sleep won’t take away your exhaustion?

Your soul is so weary you think you can’t make it.

Do you need rest today? Are you worn out from life’s battles?

There is good news. You are not alone. Jesus is reaching out His hand to you right now. He can help you and lift those heavy burdens that you were never meant to carry alone.

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30, NIV

Jesus is telling us to come to Him. So come, to the One who can lift those heavy burdens. Come to the only One who can give you rest. Real rest for your weary and burdened soul.

“‘Come’; he drives none away; he calls them to himself. His favorite word is ‘Come.’ Not, go to Moses – ‘Come unto me.’ To Jesus himself we must come, by a personal trust. Not to doctrine, ordinance, nor ministry are we to come first; but to the personal Saviour.” Charles Spurgeon

The Jewish audience Jesus was speaking to had been burdened by the religious leaders of the day (Matthew 23:4). They were desperately trying to please God on their own.

The burdens that Jesus is talking about are the ones we place on ourselves. The burdens we were never meant to bear. We get so weighed down when we are relying on ourselves to carry the load.

The yoke of these burdens is unbearable. Heavy, awkward. They weigh you down so much that you can hardly move.

Jesus is the answer to our weariness. It’s all Jesus.

Jesus is gentle and humble in heart.

Jesus’ yoke is easy and His burden is light.

Bible commentator Adam Clarke noted that the ancient Jews signified yoke as their bond or obligation to God. There was the yoke of the kingdom, the yoke of the law, the yoke of precept, the yoke of repentance, the yoke of faith, and the divine yoke. (Commentary on the Bible, by Adam Clarke, [1831], at sacred-texts.com)

“Christ’s yoke means, the obligation to receive him as the Messiah, to believe his doctrine, and to be in all things conformed to his Word and to his Spirit.” Adam Clarke

A yoke is meant for two, not one.

Jesus is in the yoke with us.

We get the privilege of working with Jesus. His burdens do not weigh us down because Jesus is doing the heavy lifting.

There is absolutely no one else I’d rather be yoked with than Jesus. He is the only One who can lighten my load and bear my burdens. I may get tired and worn out at times. We all will. Jesus says, “I will give you rest.

The rest Jesus gives us is unlike any other. It is a gift from God for those who follow Jesus.

Come to Jesus. He will give you rest.

O soul, are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There’s light for a look at the Savior,
And life more abundant and free.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
  In the light of His glory and grace.

Love you all,

Meghan

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Trials

It’s Been a Crazy Week in the Great State of Texas

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This was our backyard on Monday. It was cold. Very cold for southeast Texas. Our power went out early Monday morning. My husband left for work, and I thought for sure our power would come back on soon. We never experienced any long power outages in the 8 years we have lived in Houston. We have survived crazy tropical storms, and Hurricane Harvey with no lengthy power outages or property damage.

I was sure we would be fine with power and heat returning that day. I was wrong. As the day continued and our house got colder I realized the power may not come back on. My husband found the very last available hotel room so we could get warm for the night. By the time Tom came home to pick us up the hotel had lost power. We all breathed a collective sigh, and hopped in my warm car.

The heat in my car felt incredible. I was able to calm down for a few minutes and relax a bit. As we drove through our neighborhood and down the road, it looked like the apocalypse with absolutely no light whatsoever. Pitch black everywhere until we got farther down the highway. Suddenly businesses were lit up but closed. Why did they have power and we didn’t?

Every restaurant, gas station, and store was closed. We found a 7-11 that was open. It was like an oasis in the snow and ice. We dined on pizza and it was actually pretty good. The hot meal was a blessing. Arriving back at our dark icy cold house was not easy. My husband, myself, and our two sons made the best of it. We layered up our clothing, and blankets, and tried to get some sleep. Tomorrow would be better and the power would come back on, we hoped and prayed.

That night I pulled my chilly head under the covers looking for any amount of warmth. I couldn’t help but think of all the homeless people, and those living in poverty around the world who sleep like that every night in the cold. Thank you Lord for heat.

Day two started out with power and a hot cup of coffee. But it didn’t last. By mid morning the power was back off. We continued to make the best of it, and focus on what we could do as we waited for the power to return. My oldest son and I were in the backyard enjoying the sun when we heard an odd sound. Water was pouring out of the pipe at the side of our house in two spots. Dylan ran to turn off the main water line.

Day three ended with the power coming on and off again for short periods until it finally came back on for good late Wednesday night. We still had frozen pipes but we were warm. Hallelujah!

Our dinners have been cooked on the barbecue grill and camping stove. I boiled water for coffee on the grill. Our pool water has been used to fill up toilet tanks. We have plenty of bottled water and canned food. We haven’t showered all week and we are a bit funky, but we are healthy and safe by the grace of God.

We have hauled so many buckets of water from the pool to the bathrooms it’s like living in another century. When all modern conveniences are gone you have to work a little harder to cook, clean, and use the bathroom. Almost everything is a chore. Each day just trying to keep warm, cooking food, hauling water, and getting through the day is tiring. Thank you Lord for electricity, and plumbing!

I can live without many things like internet, cell phones, and even indoor plumbing. Not sure I would want to live without heat. The cold is very difficult, especially if there is no place to get warm. Being constantly cold in temps as low as 12 degrees was not enjoyable. I have had some very cranky moments this week. Tired of being cold. Tired of no power. And pretty ticked a few times that the energy company purposely made the decision of “controlled outages” to balance out supply and demand.

Another pipe burst today inside our house as the water finally thawed and we turned our water back on. The water is currently turned off as we wait for a plumber to arrive. My husband is very handy and can fix almost anything but he can’t find copper pipe anywhere. He has waited in line at the Home Depot twice for hours only to find all plumbing supplies are sold out. Getting a hold of a plumber right now is impossible. Thank God for a connection through a friend of a plumber. Thank you Lord!

It’s been a long exhausting week. We are just one of millions who went without power in Texas. I kept thinking of all the elderly, and vulnerable people who were stuck in the cold inside their homes. We have been very blessed during this entire crazy storm. God has provided food, water, shelter, and even a plumber for us.

Thank you Lord for modern conveniences. I take them for granted.

Thank you Lord that you are faithful and true. You always get us through the storms in life.

I am looking forward to a hot shower and I can’t believe I’m saying this, doing laundry.

If you have gone without power this week please share your story. I’d love to hear from you!

I am grateful for each of you who follow my little blog and each of you who stop by to read it. This is my condensed story of a crazy week. Thanks for taking the time to read it.

Love you all,

Meghan

If you need prayer send your request here: meghanewhiteauthor@gmail.com

Father God,

Thank you for taking care of our family through this crazy cold week. Provide for all those who have broken pipes and water damage, and have struggled during this storm in Texas. Bring peace, comfort, provision and Your amazing presence to each home and heart. You are bigger than our storms.

In Jesus Mighty Name,

Amen

Faith, Trials

Jesus Will Get You Through Your Storm

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“I’m scared Lord,” I whispered as I fell asleep.

I had a vivid dream that night. I was standing on the shore of a stormy sea. The water was choppy with big waves and wind. The sky was filled with gray clouds. Jesus stood next to me. He stepped out to the stormy sea, and I took a step with Him. We walked through the storm together on top of the waves. Jesus was by my side the whole time.

In my dream Jesus did not calm the storm, and He did not part the waters. Jesus took me through the storm. I woke up with a sense of peace and comfort. Jesus spoke to me in a dream without saying a word. He was going to get me through my storm, and He did. 

Jesus will get you through your storm.

Sometimes God will calm the storm. Sometimes God will part the sea. And sometimes God will calm you, and walk  you through the storm.

I prefer “calm the storm”, not “walk through the storm”. But God knows what is best for each of us, and He is always concerned with our heart and our faith. He sees the entire story, we only see the storm, and we want it to stop. 

When we walk through the storms in life with Jesus our faith grows. We learn to trust Him and follow Him. If we go ahead of Him and take our eyes off of Jesus, we will begin to sink. There is good news. Jesus is a rescuer. Peter learned this lesson.

25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.

27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

29 “Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

Matthew 14:25-31, NIV 

As soon as Peter took his eyes off of Jesus and saw the wind he was scared and began to sink. Wind is scary. Big waves and storms are powerful forces. They cause a lot of damage. But Jesus is bigger.

Jesus rescued Peter without hesitation. He knew that Peter was doubting. We all have doubts at times. Is God really going to help me? Can He? The answer is yes. 

Peter walking on water is a miracle. Just imagine what miracles God can do in your storm. Our faith grows in hard times. You and I can walk on water with Jesus, not on our own.

The key to getting through the storm is to follow Jesus. We must keep our eyes on Him. The moment we look at the wind we will begin to sink. 

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. Hebrews 12:2a, NIV 

God can fix any problem with a snap of His fingers. When He does not immediately calm our storms, He is doing something much deeper in each of us. We are being refined to be more like Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. This is never easy, but Jesus will help us. 

Storms are opportunities for our faith to grow. We are not alone in the storms. Jesus will help us to make it to the other side. Trust Him and keep your eyes fixed on Him. And when you start to sink, cry out to Jesus. He will rescue you.

Love you all,

Meghan

Father God,

Thank you for always hearing our prayers and cries for help. Thank you for Jesus our Savior. Thank you for making a way through the storms. For all those in storms right now, give them peace, comfort, and provision. You will make a way through. Keep our eyes fixed on Jesus. He is everything.

In Jesus name,

Amen 

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