Family

Brotherly Love

img_4419

“We’re best bros!”

Joshua’s words were a loving reminder to his big brother Dylan that no matter what, they had each other’s backs. This was something Joshua would say often, when they were still little. When I could still protect them from so much.

These two precious boys, now young men, are my heartbeat. If they hurt, I hurt. If they succeed, I rejoice with them. The love they have for each other is no accident.

Dylan was six when Joshua was born. It was a little rough for Dylan at first, having to share Mom and Dad after a good long stretch of being the prince. Now there were two princes. His jealousy didn’t last long once he felt the responsibility of being the oldest. Dylan rose to the occasion.

Joshua looks up to his protective loving big bro. They have had their fights over the years but the anger never lasts. Now that Dylan is an adult, and Joshua is a teenager they don’t fight. They may get on each other’s nerves from time to time, but they don’t have huge arguments. It’s the grace of God.

How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity! Psalm 133:1, NIV

I have always prayed for my boys and I always will. Several years ago I began praying Psalm 133 over my children. I wanted them to have a good strong relationship that would last their entire lives. My boys don’t know I pray that exact verse over them. It’s one of my many little mom secrets.

I don’t brag about my kids very often. I probably should a lot more. I am sharing this special love they have for each other to brag about God and His goodness and faithfulness. The bond my boys share is a gift from the Father. I count it as one of my many blessings.

My pastor used to say, “There are only two things you take with you to heaven, your relationships and your character.”

His wise words come to mind so often. When my boys spend time together, and look out for one another, it’s like having a tiny piece of heaven to enjoy right here on Earth.

Thank you Father for these two incredible young men.

Thank you Father for the love they have for Jesus.

Thank you Father for the love they have for one another.

How good and pleasant it is
    when brothers live together in unity!

It is like precious oil poured on the head,
    running down on the beard,
running down on Aaron’s beard,
    down on the collar of his robes.

It is as if the dew of Hermon
    were falling on Mount Zion.
For there the Lord bestows his blessing,
    even life forevermore.

Psalm 133, NIV

Love you all,

Meghan

Family, Prayer

I’ve Got a Praise Report!

img_4197

My husband is home! Tom walked out of the hospital Tuesday night. Praise God!

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, read my previous post.

As I was praying for Tom during his hospital stay one of my prayers was that he would walk out of the hospital, and God answered my prayer. God has answered so many of our prayers. Tom left with the catheter still in, and is not fully recovered yet, but we believe Tom will fully recover.

So many of you have been praying for Tom and we are so grateful. We cannot thank you enough. God is listening and answering according to His perfect will in His perfect time.

Last week I had some really rough days and rough nights. I fell sound asleep one night out of exhaustion and woke up in the middle of the night completely overwhelmed and fearful. The next morning I woke up heavy hearted. Jesus encouraged me.

I sat on the couch getting ready to do what I always do each morning, read my Bible, pray and spend time with Jesus. I couldn’t start. I was discouraged. The Voice of the Martyrs magazine was sitting in front of me so I grabbed it. I flipped open the front page and read the following quote from the founder of this incredible ministry.

“In the year 1948, on a Sunday while I went to church I was kidnapped by the Communists. I knew that even in the van of the secret police I am in the hands of the Almighty God, and this gave quiet to my heart.” -Richard Wurmbrand

Richard was imprisoned and tortured for fourteen years for preaching the Gospel which went against the policy of state atheism under the communist regime in Romania. This man survived what is unimaginable to me and trusted God completely. I can trust God completely too.

It was like an arrow shot right through my heart. Tom and I were in the hands of Almighty God. No matter the outcome, no matter the path, no matter what doctors say. God has the final say.

There are still many unknowns with Tom’s health. The doctors still do not have an answer for the anemia or for the kidney failure. We have weeks and weeks of doctors appointments, and labs. But we trust God. Our Heavenly Father has a perfect plan for Tom. He has carried us through this storm and He will carry us all the way out.

Thank you so very much for praying for Tom. We welcome any continued prayers for total healing. May God bless you for blessing us. Praise God for His faithfulness and goodness!

Ask, Seek, Knock

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone?10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! 12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

Matthew 7:7-12, NIV

Love you all,

Meghan

Please send me your prayer requests anytime meghanewhiteauthor@gmail.com

Family, Trials

I’m Believing for a Miracle

landscape photography of clouds
Photo by Josh Sorenson on Pexels.com

It has been a very long and difficult week.

It all started last Tuesday, March 9th. My husband has needed hernia surgeries for some time now. The surgeries have already been rescheduled once, and Tom was finally getting prepped and cleared by his doctor to have the procedures. He left our house Tuesday morning to get an ultrasound. I went about my morning and headed to the grocery store.

After completing my errands, I was sitting at the traffic light to leave the shopping center. My light turned green and I proceeded through the intersection like I’ve done hundreds of times. In the corner of my left eye I could see something coming at me, and I quickly realized it was a vehicle, coming fast.

The vehicle came barreling through the red light and hit the front end of my car, slamming my head into the drivers side window. I barely got my car to the side of the road and started realizing what had happened. I called 911. Within minutes it was a blur of cops, and tow truck drivers. As this was all happening I received a text from Tom letting me know he was going to the hospital to receive blood transfusions because his hemoglobin was really low.

Tom was admitted Tuesday and has not left the hospital. I had to go the doctor on Wednesday to get checked after the car accident. Tom and I have the same doctor so I was able to get more details from him. Before my examine, the doctor updated me on Tom. The first thing out of his mouth was, “acute renal failure”. My heart sank, and my eyes got big. “Is Tom in the ICU?” I asked.

“No,” the doctor told me. He reassured me that Tom was receiving excellent care. He then proceeded to say a lot of things as he concluded and sent me off to get x-rays. I was in shock and was trying to process what exactly was happening to my husband. Up to that point Tom and I had not had much communication because of my accident.

I finally got to see Tom Wednesday evening. Thank God the hospital recently allowed one visitor per day. He was in pretty good spirits but writhing in pain. They had given him a catheter to drain the fluid on his kidneys. Catheters are incredibly painful. I have never had one, but my mom had to many times over the years.

It was too much to bear watching Tom in so much pain. They had been giving him morphine but it was pretty useless. I was asking the nurses for any help to relieve his suffering and they were doing the best they could do.

When I left the hospital that night I collapsed in the car and cried the ugly cry. I hadn’t had a chance to feel much of anything for two days. I had to go through the motions to deal with my totaled car, and the other drivers insurance, and getting a loaner car, and doctors, labs, and finally my husband’s very serious health crisis.

Tom has received 5 blood transfusions. The doctors do not know why he is losing so much blood. His kidneys have slowly improved each day but they are still really bad. There are still many questions as to what is happening in Tom’s body.

I was able to meet with the nephrologist over the weekend. He painted a very grim picture of the seriousness of Tom’s kidney failure, mentioning possible dialysis, and even worst case, kidney transplant. I let the doctor know I’m praying for full kidney function and healing. After my not enjoyable visit with the kidney doctor, we met the hematologist.

The blood doctor seems determined to get to the bottom of Tom’s anemia. The hematologist mentioned cancer and possibly doing a bone marrow draw. The hematologist wants to rule everything out to get to the cause of low hemoglobin.

I know this is a lot of information. There is a lot going on with Tom. More tests are being done today.

My husband is tough. His attitude is good. Tom is hopeful for a full recovery. He is tired, worn out from dealing with constant pain for days, and would love to not be in the hospital.

I am grateful to so many wonderful people throughout this entire crazy experience.

Thank God for good Samaratins. A man pulled over immediately after my car accident and checked on the other driver and myself. He did not have to stop. Everyone else drove right past us, but he chose to stop and offer help. God bless him, wherever he is.

Thank God for first responders. The 911 operator was amazing. She was kind, and patient, and walked me through everything. God bless her. The two cops on the scene were kind, helpful, and reassuring. God bless them. The tow truck driver took me home to drop off my groceries. God bless him.

Thank God for excellent doctors and nurses and all hospital caregivers. Tom has had great care with brilliant doctors determined to get him better. God bless them all.

Thank God for blood donors. They save lives, including my husband’s. God bless them.

Thank God for friends and family. We have had so much love and care poured out on us. We have no family living near us, but our church small group has blessed us greatly. They have helped us with dinners and are proving two meals per week since my two boys are still at home. God bless all our wonderful friends and family, and church family.

We trust God and know that we are in His mighty hands. This is not an easy place to be right now and is very difficult. We are in a faith walk, and are trusting Jesus to lead us out of this.

“Everything is possible for him who believes.” Mark 9:23, NIV

I am asking for your prayers. Please pray for Tom to be completely healed.

Love you all,

Meghan

Family

Happy Birthday Mom, I Miss You

img_3518

On this day, October 19, in the year 1943, my mom came into the world. Dorothea Louise Tanyer was the last of three children for Luther and Elizabeth, and their only daughter. She was born into poverty with both her parents working so they could scrape by. This adorable picture of my mom is one of the very few from when she was a toddler. Little Dorothea had blonde hair and bright blue eyes. She was tiny and feisty.

Mom had to fight most of her life. The first house she lived in growing up had an outhouse. Weekly baths were taken in an old metal tub. The cleanest person took the first bath, and the dirtiest person took the last one in the same water. Grandma made my mom’s clothes and cooked meals from scratch. Grandpa always had a garden. They always had a dog too. I have countless pictures of my mom with many different family dogs over the years. That must have fueled my mom’s love for animals.

My mom never had real toys as a child. She always wanted a baby doll, yet never got one. She told me of one birthday where she actually got a present, but was so disappointed to open the gift only to find a Howdy Doody doll. That was it. That was her one childhood toy and she didn’t even like it. (Look up Howdy Doody if you don’t know who that is.)

Little Dorothea was a very sick child. Back in those days the doctor would come to your house. The doctor came to my grandparent’s house many times over the years. Mom would get pneumonia and various serious illnesses over and over again. She slept in her crib until she was almost 8 or 9. My grandparents couldn’t afford a bed so they had to make do. Thank God my mom was small. For a while she didn’t have a bedroom, just a space in a hallway with a small bed.

My grandfather was an alcoholic and got into trouble at some of the local bars. Mom would be sent as a young girl to go fetch grandpa from the bar and bring him home. Yet my mom loved her dad. Mom loved both her parents and she never said a coarse word about them over the years. My mom really did honor her mother and father. All the stories Mom shared about her mom made me believe that grandma was a saint. I guess she was to some extent for putting up with my grandpa.

Those formative years created a resilient spirit in my mom. She would always bounce back from whatever sickness, or heartache, or trial she experienced. She made a choice to fight. The circumstance was not going to define her, or stop her. The root of Mom’s resilliance was her faith.

After coming to Christ in her late 30’s her life and view radically changed. I know Jesus because my mom introduced me to Him. She was so excited about her new found faith in Christ that she shared it everywhere she went. Worship music was being blared on eight- tracks. (Look up eight-tracks if you don’t know what that is.) And those songs were going into my head and heart. I can vividly remember listening to The Boone Sisters and singing along. (Look up The Boone Sisters if that sounds weird to you.)

Mom’s first Bible study was the book of Acts and she loved it! For the first time in her life the Bible was alive. She met Jesus in that Bible study. Jesus carried my beautiful mom through many hard years. Mom is at peace now. She went home to Jesus on December 31, 2019. No more diseases, or suffering, or pain. Mom had many good years too, and many good things in her life. I am grateful to know of her hard upbringing, and what she overcame. Mom still inspires me today.

Today I honor you, Mom. Happy birthday. I miss you! I love you always, and I’ll see ya soon.

Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved. Acts 4:12

Faith, Family, Parenting, Uncategorized

They Call Me Mom

img_2720

As a little girl, I dreamed of being a mom. I wanted at least six children. I came from a family of five kids, so six seemed like a good number. I know. Crazy, right? Several years later, and after several years of marriage, I had two sons. Two beautiful boys. God chose me to be Dylan and Joshua’s mom. There aren’t enough words for me to express my love for my children.

The mug in the picture was a birthday gift from my boys last year. They gave me a bunch of very thoughtful things in that gift, but I love this coffee mug. I love big mugs since I drink a lot of coffee and I love that it says “Mom”. A title I dreamed of having for so many years. God made my dream come true.

I remember when I was finally alone with newborn Dylan. My husband had gone back to work and it was me and this tiny human. What was I going to do with him? How was I going take care of a baby all day, every day? I was overwhelmed.

Being a brand new mom with a brand new baby is like being dropped in the middle of the ocean with no land in sight. 

In the beginning I flailed in that deep water. My baby wouldn’t nurse. My baby wouldn’t sleep. I experienced my first “Mom guilt”. Great, I can’t even feed my baby. I loved my new baby dearly, but my dream didn’t look as I imagined. Lord help.

Slowly things got better. Dylan began to eat and sleep. I found a rythm as a mom. My confidence built. My prayers grew daily. My “mom” instincts kicked in. And in a short amount of time I felt like an actual mom.

Mom’s do crazy things for our kids because of our crazy love for them.

Mom’s sleep on the floor of our baby’s room right next to the crib, when our baby has the croup.

Mom’s stay up all hours of the night with a newborn, feeding and holding them.

Mom’s change diaper, after diaper, after diaper.

Mom’s haul everything but the kitchen sink in those diaper bags.

Mom’s volunteer at the school, at the church, for the team, or at whatever our kid’s are participating in, just to be close to them.

Mom’s make meal, after meal, after meal.

Mom’s wipe down high chairs countless times.

Mom’s empty potty seats, and watch the potty video over, and over again.

Mom’s wipe noses, and rear ends, and anything else in between.

Mom’s drive our kids to practice, play dates, parties, and school.

Mom’s hold our children tight when they are afraid.

Mom’s kiss the boo-boo and apply the band aid.

Mom’s cheer our kids on when they think they can’t do it.

Mom’s cry when our kid’s cry.

Mom’s laugh when our kid’s share a knock-knock joke, or two, or three.

Mom’s call the advice nurse a few dozen times.

Mom’s make the birthday cake, and decorate it with our kid’s favorite character.

Mom’s pray, and pray, and pray for our children.

There is nothing quite like a mother’s love. God made mom’s special.

I have made many mistakes with my boys. I have lost my temper and yelled at them more times than I can count. I have said “I’m sorry” many times. My boys have said “I’m sorry” many times. As a mom, I’ve learned what real unconditional love really means. I understand the love God has for me in a whole new way.

Being a mom has brought me to my knees, asking for God’s help, wisdom, and mercy. I cannot be the mom God called me to be without Him. I can’t do it in my own strength. I wasn’t supposed to.

 

img_2717

This photo booth picture was taken about twelve years ago. It was right after a camping trip. A kind of exhausting camping trip. Joshua was three and was a handful. He spent a lot of time in his car seat in “time out”. Not a dreamy camping trip with a naughty toddler, but still fun. It was nice to stop in a local arcade at the Oregon Coast and just have some fun. Laughter is such a great release from stress. I love that you can only see Joshua’s eyes and nose.

Those amazing boys call me “Mom”. It’s an honor and a privilige to spend time with two funny, brilliant humans. And yes, we laugh a lot. You’ve got to laugh as often as possible, especially when you’re a mom.

Thank you Dylan and Joshua for the joy I get in being your mom. I love you this much (picture my arms spread out) and more. My love for you is bigger than the earth, moon, and stars. God’s love for you is the biggest, beyond measure.

Happy Mother’s Day to every mom. You have a unique calling. May God bless you abundantly.

He tends his flock like a shepherd:
    He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
    he gently leads those that have young.

Isaiah 40:11, NIV 

 

Love you all,

Meghan