Three decades of life together. Where does the time go? It flies faster than I can ever catch it, and hold it, and try desperately to stop it. I wouldn’t change any of it. The beautiful moments, exhausting struggles, the victories, the defeats, the mundane. All of it has made this lovely tapestry of thirty years together.
Have you ever looked at the back of a tapestry? It’s a mess of strings sticking out with no clear picture of what the artist is creating. You can’t tell for sure what exactly is going on just by looking at the back of a tapestry. But serious work is being done in the back, the part no one will ever see. Needle and thread poke through back and forth making a giant mess. Flip it over to the front and it all begins to make sense as a magnificent work takes shape.
It’s like marriage. There are messy painful parts. There are trials, tribulations, and trouble. There are also joyous times filled with fun, laughter, and sheer happiness. There are ups, downs, and sideways threads that come through that tapestry and sometimes you can’t see it. You don’t see the big picture. But oh wow, when the artist lets you take a peek at the work in progress a stunning design is revealed.
God brought Tom and I together in the covenant of marriage. He wove together our strengths and weaknesses to make a unique tapestry. It’s our story that God uses to make this beautiful piece of art. It’s our life together covered by God’s grace. He is still writing our story as he weaves more colors into our tapestry. Sure it can get messy, but the Master Artist is creating a masterpiece.
Happy 30th Anniversary, Tom! I love you with all my heart.
And I love all of you.
Meghan
Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate. Mark 10:9
There’s a tiny deejay in my head playing random songs whenever he feels like it, or when my memory gets triggered. “Under Pressure” by David Bowie and Queen has been popping into my head for months now. My husband and I are in a very difficult season filled with so much uncertainty. When Tom is having a bad day because of kidney failure and dialysis, which are most days, my fears confront me and I feel the squeeze of life and bam, “Under Pressure” is on repeat in my mind.
In those overwhelming moments I have a choice to make. Do I cave under the pressure and let it crush me? Or do I rest in God and let Him shape me? Let me tell ya, many times I want to hide and run away, but that’s not a good option. There is only one way out of this, walking right through it. One day at a time, one step at a time. This is a challenge for me. I get impatient, and want God to fix it all now. He is God, and I am not.
Pressure can be a good thing.
Diamonds are formed under intense heat and pressure about one hundred plus miles below the Earth’s surface. It takes high temperatures and high pressure to form diamond crystals from carbon. These diamonds were brought to the surface from volcanic eruptions a long time ago. All this extreme pressure and heat created something so stunningly beautiful and strong.
Every time the pressure is too great for me is an opportunity to go to God. The pressure of suffering is too much for me to handle on my own. If I want relief I must run to my Father. He is faithful to encourage me, strengthen me, and carry me. This extreme pressure is not meant to destroy me, it is meant to change me. God is shaping my faith and my character through the fire of suffering.
I would never ask God to sign me up for suffering. However, if I never dealt with adversity, I would never experience the goodness of God. I would just rely on myself and be a selfish, terrible person. God wants my heart and He is refining it. So I surrender to the pressure, as painful as that is at times. For my God is making me strong and beautiful in Him, like a diamond.
Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given to us. Romans 5:3-5, NIV
Are you under intense pressure right now? Is the weight of your problem crushing you? There is hope. God loves you and wants to help you. Cry out to Him. If you have not placed your faith in Jesus Christ, today would be a great day to change that. Do not give up.
A friendly woman smiled as I sat down next to her during church one Sunday several years ago. By the following week we were chummy and soon became friends. I noticed her fingers were bent up and she wore braces on her hands. It was from rheumatoid arthritis. Past surgeries where her bones were broken and reset were only temporary fixes, yet Hawah soldiered on.
She never complained, though she was in constant pain. Hawah would laugh about having her husband help her with her shoes or necklace, though she was always put together beautifully with matching hand bags, and jewelry. Her infectious smile was her most stunning accessory.
Beautiful, kind, strong, fun-loving, and easy going, are just a few of the many words to describe my friend, Hawah. She came to the United States from Sierra Leone as a teenager over forty years ago. This lovely faith-filled woman had a good life in America with her loving husband and two kids. Life was not always easy for Hawah especially when she battled colon cancer, though she came out on the other side victorious. Hawah’s physical pain and suffering never took away from her deep love of God.
I would think of Hawah when I was facing a challenge in my own life. What would Hawah do? She’d press on and not complain. I have no doubt she had hard days like all of us, but I never saw that side. I saw resilience, determination, and joy. These traits were called upon when the cancer came back with a vengeance as it spread through many parts of her body.
This warrior had a short battle with cancer that she could not win. She was not supposed to win this one. Hawah passed away in her sleep Monday night this last week. Hawah was not afraid to die. Why? Because she knew where she was going. She is now home with Jesus. No more pain. No more radiation. No more stinking cancer. She is free.
As Christians we say, “She went home to be with the Lord“. If you are not a Christian that may sound weird. Home for the Christian is Heaven. “But our citizenship is in heaven, and we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ,” Philippians 3:20, BSB.
Home is not here on Earth. This is all temporary for everyone. We will all die. That’s the only way out of this place. This is all part of God’s plan for humanity. But Heaven is only for those who have placed their faith in Jesus Christ.
There are two things you can count on in life, death and taxes. We can thank Benjamin Franklin for such wisdom. I would argue that taxes can be avoided, though with penalties like prison, but death cannot be avoided for any of us. Are you afraid to die? Do you know where you are going when death comes? You don’t have to be afraid. Like my friend Hawah, you can have peace. Jesus is the only way to the Father. Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me, John 14:6, BSB.
Hawah had no fear of death. She is now home with the Lord. Hallelujah! See you soon my friend.
We are confident, then, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. 2 Corinthians 5:8
What if we saw every trial, trouble, triumph, and tragedy in detail laid out in front of us, that covered the span of our lives? Would it change the decisions we made? Would we even be able to handle it? Would it change our faith? Would we have faith in God?
There is a very good reason that God is God, and that I am not. I would like nothing more than to look ahead in my current situation and see something, anything. When I attempt to look ahead I either look with eyes of faith, and know it’s all going to work out, or I look with fear and see a lot of potentially bad things. I can’t see beyond right now, not that I could before Tom’s kidney failure, dialysis, and possible transplant. I made a false assumption that I could see clearly ahead, though this was not a conscious decision, that’s what I was doing. That is not reality.
I like to tell God my plans and then say, “OK Lord, get to work on that.” His patience and mercy are such a gift and blessing. His love for me is astounding. God is teaching me in a whole new way, I don’t need to know what’s ahead, because He does. God not only knows what is ahead for me and Tom, He has ordained it. He is faithful and will get us through whatever we need to deal with. We are not facing anything alone, especially the unknown, yet this is still very difficult for me.
You’d think I would have this down by now, trust God and surrender everything to Jesus, obviously not. My faith is being tested. This is all part of the journey of following Christ. I am grateful for this trial, though I would never choose it. I hate seeing my husband suffer. When he hurts, I hurt. We are learning so many things, including perseverance.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Letperseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
James 1:2-4, NIV
As I was driving home from the hospital one night, after Tom’s most recent stay, God gave me revelation. He told me not knowing and having no answers is exactly how He wants me to live. God reminded me to trust Him fully, especially in the unknown. It’s all going to be O.K. The road may be rough, but He will get us exactly where we need to be. It gave me total peace. We both have peace. Praise God for that. It’s all still hard, and can be scary and overwhelming, but He’s got us.
With so many encouraging passages of scripture that I am clinging to, Psalm 55 has brought a lot of solace. Here are a few of the sections that I go back to, often. May they encourage you as well.
Listen to my prayer, O God, do not ignore my plea; 2 hear me and answer me. My thoughts trouble me and I am distraught
4 My heart is in anguish within me; the terrors of death have fallen on me. 5 Fear and trembling have beset me; horror has overwhelmed me. 6 I said, “Oh, that I had the wings of a dove! I would fly away and be at rest. 7 I would flee far away and stay in the desert; 8 I would hurry to my place of shelter, far from the tempest and storm.”
16 As for me, I call to God, and the Lord saves me. 17 Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice. 18 He rescues me unharmed from the battle waged against me, even though many oppose me.
22 Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.
Whatever your unknowns are today, know that He is with you. Even if you can’t see a thing in front of you, and you wish you could, He is already there in those unknown places. God will take care of you. He is faithful.
Forty-eight hours after Hurricane Beryl ripped through Houston, I was in my garden cleaning up from the devastation. A swallowtail was fluttering around drinking nectar from the flowers. Business as usual for this stunning pollinator. Life continues after the storm passes.
Thank God we are safe and suffered no real loss, or property damage. We lost power at around 5:45 AM on Monday morning. The only sound was the howling wind and heavy rain beating down on our house. My husband was on his way home from work. All I could do was pray. I held on to this verse, and put it in the notes on my phone the night before, glancing at it when fear started to creep in.
The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. Matthew 7:25, NIV
There are very few things in this life we can control, and a hurricane is not one of them. You can prepare to the best of your ability, have lots of water, canned food, and maybe even a generator. That won’t stop the impending storm and the havoc it will wreak.
The storm will pass and what you’re left with can potentially be horrendous. Loss of life, and property. For us, we lost power for thirty hours. No too bad considering many are still without power in Houston, as of this writing. The heat and humidity in the middle of the summer in Southeast Texas is brutal. No air conditioning can be quite miserable here. We would cool off in our car, thank God we could.
When we started looking around our neighborhood we saw many downed fences and lots of branches and debris. We counted our blessings and thanked God for protecting us. Three years ago, the ice storm was not so kind to us with broken pipes. But God saw us through that storm.
The question is not if a storm in life will happen, it’s when. Life’s storms can be unrelenting, whether they are physical, spiritual, emotional, relational, or financial. You think you are prepared, and yet, you were flattened by the difficulty and the loss. Reeling in pain and wondering how you can go on after the catastrophic storm.
It all depends on the foundation of your house. What’s your foundation? Is it sand? Is it the Rock, Jesus?
But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash. Matthew 7:26-27, NIV
I have withstood many storms, and the only reason I am still here is my foundation is on the Rock. Jesus has gotten me through every single storm and He will continue to do so. Do you need to rebuild? He is a redeemer. Do you need some repairs? He can restore. Do you need the right foundation? He is the Solid Rock, the Savior.
Storms are guaranteed in life. Don’t build on sand. Build on the Rock, Jesus Christ.
Love you all,
Meghan
If you need prayer go to my contact page and send me your request.
Meghan E White 