Nature – Meghan E White

I did something I have never done before in my entire life, I mowed the lawn. I know, you are probably not very impressed. My husband started to mow the lawn last weekend when he had to stop from a nasty allergic reaction to the various weeds growing in our front yard. I knew it was time to step in and help the guy out. After all, he’s in kidney failure and on dialysis, it’s the least I could do.

Once I started pushing the mower something odd happened, I felt a sense of accomplishment. I actually liked mowing the lawn or weed patch, whatever you want to call it. I am a doer. I like to achieve and accomplish and get stuff done. Lately, my life is about not being able to accomplish very much. Our days are a repeat of dialysis and the discomfort and stress of that, Tom working nights, and somehow surviving each day with the constant threat of Tom possibly ending up back in the hospital, or worse, hanging over our heads.

There is very little I can control in my life right now, and the future is filled with so many unknowns and potentially terrifying possibilities. I have to focus on what is in front of me each day. The faith test is very real for us. So when I pushed that mower and saw results it was satisfying. I enjoyed it so much that I decided to punish myself again by using the edger. That too was a first for me and a much bigger job. The high temperatures added to the challenge.

As I was mowing and edging, like a boss, all I could see was a glaring metaphor of my life. Dead spots after months of neglect. Weeds all over the place. Yet somehow, the lawn is still alive and in some areas thriving. My patchy front yard is a vivid image of Tom and I. We’re still here, it’s just going to take a lot of fertilizer and weed killer to get us back to how we should be, healthy and thriving, specifically Tom.

I am learning that I can endure in a whole new way I didn’t think was possible. I am learning that I can do hard things, like mow the lawn or something even harder, keep believing for healing. I can truly do all things through Christ who strengthens me, especially the things I really don’t want to do. I have to rely on Jesus to give me strength each day to do what I need to do and He has been nothing but faithful. He carries me when I am too tired to take another step. He lifts me when I fall. He holds me close when I am afraid. He provides every single thing I need.

God continues to carry us in this trial and equips us to do hard things. Whatever hard thing you are facing, God will help you.

So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

Love you all,

Meghan

Carolina Jessamine photo credit: Meghan E. White

A3BC8AC5-F3D3-40AC-9CB3-55ED6567470B

O beautiful for spacious skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain!
America! America! God shed His grace on thee,
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!

“America the Beautiful” popped into my head the other morning as I was walking along the rim of the Grand Canyon. I could hear choirs of angels singing there as well. It’s just that magnificent of a place. It’s hard, almost impossible, not to be moved while visiting the Grand Canyon. All my troubles melted away as I looked out at this exquisite masterpiece made by the hand of God.

If you doubt God’s love, just take a look at that picture. Something that beautiful was made by a loving God for our pleasure. It’s easy to see God as distant, and shaking His fist at us. Like we’re all waiting for the lightning to strike. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. We should definitely have holy fear and respect of Him, but we should never doubt His love. He loves you and me so very much. So much so that He sacrificed Jesus, His only son, to save us. (John 3:16) That’s real love.

And, God gave us a beautiful place to live. And, He gave us beautiful places to see and experience, like the Grand Canyon. Thank you God for blessing us with such beauty!

We were in Arizona visiting my in-laws and they blessed us with a few days at the Grand Canyon. It’s been on my list of places to see for several years. I am so grateful for the opportunity to go to such a wonderful place. Not man-made, God-made. I love architecture, but no one, and no thing can beat the Great Architect. His works are marvelous!

Vacations come with expectations. They should be trouble free, worry free, joyful, relaxing experiences. I know, I know. That’s pretty funny, and completely unrealistic. We go to new places with hopes of soul restoration, fun, and enjoyment. And all of those good things can take place during these getaways, but they come with a price. Both from our pocketbooks, and a little from our souls.

Troubles don’t take vacations. I really want them to. In my mind it’s my vacation. My chance to try and turn off my brain. Break out from the routine, and hopefully get new perspective, get some rest, and make some fun memories. Unfortunately, troubles still come along on our vacations. The little stinkers. Don’t they know I need a break from them. Trouble packs it’s bags too. It’s at the airport, in the hotel room, at the restaurant, and sometimes in our attitudes.

But God is there too. Guiding us, providing for us, and making a way through the troubles that show up.

We started off on our road trip from Tucson to Grand Canyon National Park with excitement, and great anticipation. Yeah! This was going to be incredible. Then red and blue flashing lights rained on our parade. My husband was handed a speeding ticket. Wait a minute, that’s not fun. We were all really annoyed. I know, that’s not a very Jesusy-attitude. Shake it off, and keep moving. Hours later my husband quickly pulls to the side of the highway and throws up. That’s not fun either.

Tom was still able to drive because he’s a determined, tough person. We make it to the park and check in exhausted, and Tom was still very sick. Press on. We see the gorgeous sunset and walk the edge of the rim. Pretty, pretty, pretty, even in the dark. It was very cold that first night, so we all bundled up and went outside to watch the best show of stars. Crystal clear skies with no light interruption gave us perfect views of the Milky Way. These are good things in spite of troubles.

The next morning I sneak out while everyone else is asleep and walk the rim. I see the mules getting ready for their ride down the canyon. Amazing creatures. Hard working, and underappreciated. Just me, Jesus, a few hikers, and that magnificent canyon. I breath in and exhale my troubles with new faith, and new perspective. Dylan and I hike a small part of Bright Angel Trail in the early afternoon.

Rain and cold hits as we step out to take the bus for Hermits Rest. Tom notices a flat tire on our rental car. This is not fun. This is not what a vacation is supposed to be. Stinking troubles just had to come along. After several phone calls, and Tom out in the cold and rain, still sick, inflating the tire, we have a solution. We will swap a new rental car in Flagstaff the next day. Press on.

We made it back safely to my in-laws house on Wednesday night, and flew out the next morning. After a flight delay in Tucson, and a second delayed flight in L.A., we landed in Houston last night. Dylan’s bag never made it to Houston, but it just arrived by courier to our house.

Yes, trouble comes no matter if you are on vacation or not, but God is there too. Do you see Him working? He is, whether you are noticing or not. Troubles make us cry out to our Heavenly Father for help. Troubles keep us humble. Troubles stretch our faith. Troubles give God a chance to show up and show off for us.

On your next vacation when the troubles come along too, God will take care of you. Do you trust Him?

The Grand Canyon really is grand. If you’ve never been I highly recommend making your way to that wondrous place. Breathe in fresh air, quiet, and calm. And see what a loving God made just for our enjoyment.

He who forms the mountains,
    who creates the wind,
    and who reveals his thoughts to mankind,
who turns dawn to darkness,
    and treads on the heights of the earth—
    the Lord God Almighty is his name.

Amos 4:13

Thanks for reading my ramblings. I am tired but amazed at God’s goodness. He is faithful. God bless you!

Love you all,

Meghan

Tag: Nature

I Can Do Hard Things

It Really Is Grand