gardening – Meghan E White

I Can Do Hard Things

March 14, 2025 meghanewhite

I did something I have never done before in my entire life, I mowed the lawn. I know, you are probably not very impressed. My husband started to mow the lawn last weekend when he had to stop from a nasty allergic reaction to the various weeds growing in our front yard. I knew it was time to step in and help the guy out. After all, he’s in kidney failure and on dialysis, it’s the least I could do.

Once I started pushing the mower something odd happened, I felt a sense of accomplishment. I actually liked mowing the lawn or weed patch, whatever you want to call it. I am a doer. I like to achieve and accomplish and get stuff done. Lately, my life is about not being able to accomplish very much. Our days are a repeat of dialysis and the discomfort and stress of that, Tom working nights, and somehow surviving each day with the constant threat of Tom possibly ending up back in the hospital, or worse, hanging over our heads.

There is very little I can control in my life right now, and the future is filled with so many unknowns and potentially terrifying possibilities. I have to focus on what is in front of me each day. The faith test is very real for us. So when I pushed that mower and saw results it was satisfying. I enjoyed it so much that I decided to punish myself again by using the edger. That too was a first for me and a much bigger job. The high temperatures added to the challenge.

As I was mowing and edging, like a boss, all I could see was a glaring metaphor of my life. Dead spots after months of neglect. Weeds all over the place. Yet somehow, the lawn is still alive and in some areas thriving. My patchy front yard is a vivid image of Tom and I. We’re still here, it’s just going to take a lot of fertilizer and weed killer to get us back to how we should be, healthy and thriving, specifically Tom.

I am learning that I can endure in a whole new way I didn’t think was possible. I am learning that I can do hard things, like mow the lawn or something even harder, keep believing for healing. I can truly do all things through Christ who strengthens me, especially the things I really don’t want to do. I have to rely on Jesus to give me strength each day to do what I need to do and He has been nothing but faithful. He carries me when I am too tired to take another step. He lifts me when I fall. He holds me close when I am afraid. He provides every single thing I need.

God continues to carry us in this trial and equips us to do hard things. Whatever hard thing you are facing, God will help you.

So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

Love you all,

Meghan

Carolina Jessamine photo credit: Meghan E. White

God

God’s Ways Are Perfect

April 12, 2024 meghanewhite

This stunning flower is from a carrot. I never pulled up my carrots from last summer and just let them be, resulting in the most gorgeous flowers. The term for this is called bolting. It’s a survival mechanism in plants when conditions are no longer ideal for the plant. The plant is producing seed to continue on. There is no longer viable fruit or vegetables after bolting occurs, but the seeds remain. New life will emerge.

It would have been great to enjoy a large bunch of carrots, but that did not happen. There were a few carrots early in the summer. Later, the unbearable heat made it challenging for me to do much work in the garden so the carrots were neglected. However, along with the stunning flowers, I pulled up this gargantuan carrot.

It’s hard to tell from the picture, but this carrot is massive. Bigger than any I’ve ever grown. That’s what happens when you leave them through the winter. I will not eat it, but it sure was fun to find that in my garden.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,” declares the LORD. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so My ways are higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9

God’s ways are perfect. He made every plant, fruit, and vegetable. Only God can make something beautiful from a plant in distress. The fruit is no longer viable but the flower produces seed which means new life can continue. That’s not how I would do things, but I’m not God. I would have chosen an abundant carrot harvest, but I would have missed the stunning flowers. Sure, lots of veggies was the goal, but the circumstances were not ideal, and the plant was in distress.

As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him. Psalm 18:30

Whatever God allows is perfect. The hard things, painful things, and beautiful things, He allows. God’s way is perfect, not easy. Sometimes, His way is quite difficult for us. But He is a shield for us who take refuge in Him. He will help us. We don’t always understand His ways, but we can trust that He is faithful, and is working everything out for our good, and His glory.

We can trust God in all things. His ways are perfect.

Heavenly Father,

Thank you for your faithfulness and your perfect ways. Thank you for always working in our lives and turning beauty from ashes. Only you can do that Lord. You are our defender and protector as we take refuge in you. Help us, O God, to trust you more and give you everything that we are holding onto. Help us to place our fears and worries into your capable hands.

Amen

Love you all,

Meghan

Photo credit: Meghan E. White

healing

The Root of the Problem

March 1, 2024 meghanewhite

This ugly, gnarled up root ball does not want to leave my backyard. I don’t remember when this weed tree appeared, but it seemed like it just popped up along our wrought iron fence one day. The first few years I trimmed it and did my best to hack it down, not really knowing what exactly it was. It took a while until I realized it’s just a weed tree.

Weeds can be tricky to get rid of, and a tree that has taken up residence in your yard, without being invited, is even more difficult to destroy. I would trim all the branches off and cut it down to the stump. For a while it looked like the unwanted tree had died. Then a small sprout appeared while I wasn’t looking, which rapidly multiplied, and turned into branches, and the nasty thing got bigger.

There is only one way to dispose of this nuisance, kill it at the roots. If the roots die, the tree dies. As I was digging and clawing at this hideous eye sore I was going deeper to expose the roots. The deeper I dug, the more I saw just how vast the root system of this ugly tree was. I quickly figured out I needed help from someone bigger and stronger with way more experience, my husband.

Our sins, our secrets, our addictions, and those shameful things we never talk about can turn into weeds in our soul. We’ve covered it all up, buried it with a nice pile of dirt, and believed that took care of it. Yet, we never killed the roots and it keeps growing and we keep trimming branches and hoping and praying that maybe it will just go away.

With each push of the shovel, the Lord reminded me of all the stuff I can let take root in my life if I’m not careful. Resentments, unforgiveness, and past hurts that seems so small can grow over time and become weeds in my life. I am not strong enough on my own to get rid of these uninvited guests. Only God can heal me and set me free from my sins, pain, and heartache. There is no root system too big for the Lord to destroy if we let Him. He is bigger.

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139: 23-24, NIV

Come in, Oh Lord, to every part of us. Heal our hearts and destroy, at the root, anything that is sinful, or causing us pain. Give us the courage and grace to face the ugly stuff and stop covering it up. Expose those nasty deep roots, dear Lord, and set us free! Amen!

Love you all,

Meghan