Marriage – Meghan E White

img_5019-1

The mighty Mississippi River snakes through Vicksburg, Mississippi. Side note: close your eyes and spell Mississippi out loud. Try M-i-crooked letter-crooked letter-i-crooked letter-crooked letter-i-humpback-humpback-i. Does anyone else remember that from childhood?

Back to my story. In 2021, we went to Vicksburg, Mississippi to see the historic Civil War battle field. My husband is a huge Civil War buff so Vicksburg was on the bucket list. It’s an incredible place. I highly recommend it if you love history. I’m sharing this picture with the pretty view from Vicksburg National Military Park, as an ode to my husband, Tom.

September 30th, is our twenty-ninth wedding anniversary. We are one year away from three decades of marriage, which is incredible. As momentous as this milestone is, we won’t be celebrating with a fancy dinner out, or a trip to some fun destination. Tom has been in the hospital since Tuesday of last week. Kidney failure struck again, but this time the blow was the worst ever.

This is Tom’s third hospitalization in three and a half years. Dialysis started this week and it’s not something we ever wanted, who does. Tom is supposed to come home on our anniversary, which would be the best gift. No jewelry or expensive gifts for me, not that I am into any of that. Those are the stereotypical anniversary presents. All I want is my husband healthy, and I’m praying for it.

After decades of marriage, I can look back on the good and bad times, and always see God’s faithful hand in our lives. Right now is an extremely difficult time, and also an opportunity for us to once again see God’s hand healing, providing, and caring for us. I would never choose this for my husband but what my Heavenly Father is allowing is for our good and His glory. We trust Him.

Months ago I was in the kitchen slicing potatoes as I prepared dinner. I cut my finger and without hesitation Tom got up from the family room, grabbed the knife, and finished slicing the potatoes as I got a bandage. He was exhausted after working all night. But that’s what you do for the one you love. That’s what my husband does for me. That’s what we do for each other. We don’t have to discuss it, we just jump in and help each other in our time of need. That is real love.

I’m helping Tom right now with the strength that the Lord provides. We stick together, and stick up for one another. When the two became one, we feel each other’s pain, and help each other. Tom has helped me and lifted me up countless times. It’s my turn. Thank you God, for twenty-nine years of a wonderful marriage, not perfect, but blessed.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24, NKJV

Love you all,

Meghan

Photo credit: Meghan E. White

Just for fun and a few laughs, a quote from The Princess Bride, one of Tom’s favorite movies. If you’ve never seen it you won’t get it. The rest of us get it.

The Impressive Clergyman:

“Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us together today. Mawage, that blessed awangement, that dweam wifin a dweam. And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva. So tweasure your wuv.”

September 30, 1995 is the beginning of us. Tom and I made a life long commitment to each other on that special day. We were excited and clueless. I didn’t completely understand the sacredness of marriage. The holiness. I believed in marriage and wanted to be a good wife and mother, but did not know what that would look like. I knew on that day, twenty three years ago, that I loved Tom and wanted to spend my life with him. I assumed we’d ride off into the sunset and the rest would take care of itself.

I know I belong to Jesus, love Him deeply, and He loves me, and my home is in heaven. I know that I love Tom, and our boys with everything that is in me. That’s pretty much what I know for sure. I am not a marriage expert, but I have learned a few things along the way. I have made the dumb mistakes and been too needy, not letting Jesus fill me up. I have disrespected my husband, and hurt him. I have been angry, and unforgiving, and had unrealistic expectations. I have tried to change my husband. That’s really stupid, by the way. I don’t recommend trying to change your spouse.

After making a lot of mistakes at first, God taught me how to do things His way. I have learned how to be a Godly wife, though definitely not perfect. I have learned unconditional love and forgiveness in a whole new way. I also have a much better understanding and respect for marriage itself and the many blessings it brings. I love being married to Tom.

Marriage is sacred, and holy, and beautiful! God created marriage between a man and a woman. Anything God makes and ordains is perfect. Anything outside of what God makes is just a cheap imitation. Now, there are no perfect marriages and no perfect people. Marriage is a picture of the church, the body of Christ.

“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything” (Ephesians 5:22-24, NIV)

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, to make her holy, cleansing her by the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless” (Ephesians 5:25-27, NIV).

The entire passage on husbands and wives in Ephesians is in chapter 5:22-33. Paul quotes Genesis 2:24 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies (Eph. 5:28). The final verse in the passage says a husband must love his wife as he loves himself, and a wife must respect her husband (Eph. 5:33).

God paints this beautiful picture of the church using marriage as the metaphor. Marriage is important to God. He created it. The passage in Ephesians also tells husbands and wives their specific roles and how to love one another. A big one for me has been to respect my husband. That’s how I show my love for him. It took me a few years to get that. I still have so much to learn about marriage. God is so gracious to me and has used my sweet husband to grow me up. To flush out my weaknesses, issues, and struggles. I know what real lasting love looks and feels like. A real Godly man loves his wife and children sacrificially. I am truly blessed with a man like this.

God knew exactly what He was doing when he created marriage from the beginning (Gen. 2:24). He knew it would be hard at times, and impossible without Him at the center. We need God to have successful, healthy marriages. “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12b, NIV). This verse was used in our wedding ceremony, like many other weddings. It is true that with the Holy spirit woven in our marriage we are strong. It is God’s grace when he can take two imperfect people, and bring them together, and make something beautiful.

Happy anniversary to my precious husband Tom! I have loved every day with you over these twenty three years. The good times and hard times. God has always been faithful to carry us, and keep our love strong for one another. I can’t wait to see what God has planned for our next twenty years together. My heart is always yours.

Heavenly Father,

Thank you for the blessing of marriage. Thank you for faithfully carrying Tom and I, all these years. Keep our eyes fixed on you as we serve you together. I lift up the struggling marriages right now. Bring hope and healing Father. Let those marriages be a testament of your miracle working power. For those who have been through divorce, heal those broken places. You are the redeemer and nothing is too hard for you.

In Jesus name,

Amen

Love you all,

Meghan

P.S. If you need prayer please email me meghanewhiteauthor@gmail.com or message me through my contact page.

Tag: Marriage

29 Years

Marriage Is A Blessing