Trials

When We Can’t See

meghanewhite
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Photo by Meghan E. White

What if we saw every trial, trouble, triumph, and tragedy in detail laid out in front of us, that covered the span of our lives? Would it change the decisions we made? Would we even be able to handle it? Would it change our faith? Would we have faith in God? 

There is a very good reason that God is God, and that I am not. I would like nothing more than to look ahead in my current situation and see something, anything. When I attempt to look ahead I either look with eyes of faith, and know it’s all going to work out, or I look with fear and see a lot of potentially bad things. I can’t see beyond right now, not that I could before Tom’s kidney failure, dialysis, and possible transplant. I made a false assumption that I could see clearly ahead, though this was not a conscious decision, that’s what I was doing. That is not reality.

I like to tell God my plans and then say, “OK Lord, get to work on that.” His patience and mercy are such a gift and blessing. His love for me is astounding. God is teaching me in a whole new way, I don’t need to know what’s ahead, because He does. God not only knows what is ahead for me and Tom, He has ordained it. He is faithful and will get us through whatever we need to deal with. We are not facing anything alone, especially the unknown, yet this is still very difficult for me.

You’d think I would have this down by now, trust God and surrender everything to Jesus, obviously not. My faith is being tested. This is all part of the journey of following Christ. I am grateful for this trial, though I would never choose it. I hate seeing my husband suffer. When he hurts, I hurt. We are learning so many things, including perseverance. 

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

James 1:2-4, NIV 

As I was driving home from the hospital one night, after Tom’s most recent stay, God gave me revelation. He told me not knowing and having no answers is exactly how He wants me to live. God reminded me to trust Him fully, especially in the unknown. It’s all going to be O.K. The road may be rough, but He will get us exactly where we need to be. It gave me total peace. We both have peace. Praise God for that. It’s all still hard, and can be scary and overwhelming, but He’s got us.

With so many encouraging passages of scripture that I am clinging to, Psalm 55 has brought a lot of solace. Here are a few of the sections that I go back to, often. May they encourage you as well.

Listen to my prayer, O God,
    do not ignore my plea;
2     hear me and answer me.
My thoughts trouble me and I am distraught

4 My heart is in anguish within me;
    the terrors of death have fallen on me.
5 Fear and trembling have beset me;
    horror has overwhelmed me.
6 I said, “Oh, that I had the wings of a dove!
    I would fly away and be at rest.
7 I would flee far away
    and stay in the desert;
8 I would hurry to my place of shelter,
    far from the tempest and storm.”

16 As for me, I call to God,
    and the Lord saves me.
17 Evening, morning and noon
    I cry out in distress,
    and he hears my voice.
18 He rescues me unharmed
    from the battle waged against me,
    even though many oppose me.

22 Cast your cares on the Lord
    and he will sustain you;
he will never let
    the righteous be shaken.

Whatever your unknowns are today, know that He is with you. Even if you can’t see a thing in front of you, and you wish you could, He is already there in those unknown places. God will take care of you. He is faithful.

Love you all,

Meghan

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Published by meghanewhite

13 thoughts on “When We Can’t See”

  1. Thanks for this Meghan. It is a good reminder that God knows all. And I don’t need to know what He knows. If I did I’d go crazy. One thing I do know though is that He continually forgives and cleanses me from all sins (1Jn, 1:7). I know that some people don’t know that and its the reason why they have so much pain in their life.

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  2. Meghan, thank you for this wonderful reminder to keep trusting God in the uncertain and through the unknown. Never easy and like you said, wouldn’t we think we have it down pat and understood. God knows all and He is with us through it all. I find that I need constant prayer to help me not feel overwhelmed.

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  5. I’ll be praying 🙏 for you both. God the Holy Spirit, the Comforter, is helping you through this time each second of the day through the emotional roller coaster. My own mother has been in the hospital for over a month. We are thankful for God and His Word. He is Faithful and True. His promises are true. He never leaves us nor forsakes us and His steadfast lovingkindness eternally abounds toward us. Take comfort in Him. Think on God and His attributes He has revealed unto us through His precious Word. God bless sister! ✝️✝️✝️📖📖

    Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever. (Hebrews 13:8, KJV)

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    1. Thank you for the encouragement! The Holy Spirit has been my constant companion. I am so sorry to hear about your mother. God bless her. Thank you again for your hope filled words. I absolutely agree, He is faithful. Thank you so much!

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  6. I was just thinking about you and Tom a few days ago. Everything is the same as of now then? You seem to have such a good grasp on God’s love and sovereignty. That is a gift. I continue to pray for you both, and I’m so thankful that God walks with us in every hardship. He has you in His hands! Much love, Meghan!

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  7. This is just what I needed to read this morning! My husband and I have been going through a similar journey. He has Stage 4 cancer, which seems to be miraculously in remission for right now … the immunotherapy is working, for now. But each time he needs to go for a set of scans (every three months), I’m a stressed-out mess for at least a couple of weeks beforehand. Since my crystal ball seems to be out of order, I have no choice but to trust God, but some days I find that to be a tall order. At any rate, praying for you and Tom.

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    1. Wow!! You and your husband have been through so much. Thank God for the remission of your husband’s cancer. It can definitely be a tall order to trust God in such difficult circumstances. Thanks for sharing your story. It encourages me to keep going and keep trusting God. Thank you for the prayers! I’ll add your husband and you to my prayers. God bless you my friend.

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